**********
Two grown-up little girls - her children and greatest love, both trying not to cry.
*********
Three songs we sang together. Her favorite: “He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own….”
********
Four heartbroken grandchildren sat in the front row. Tear-stained legacies.
*******
Five dogs in her lifetime. She loved each of them so much, and cared for them like they were her children.
******
Six dishes full of Macaroni & Cheese, only a fragment of the food brought to feed the crowd.
*****
Seven times my pastor had to stop to gather himself so that he wouldn’t cry through the message.
****
Eight ushers to carry the coffin.
***
Nine fruits of the Spirit that she lived by.... "Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, Temperance.”
Two grown-up little girls - her children and greatest love, both trying not to cry.
*********
Three songs we sang together. Her favorite: “He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own….”
********
Four heartbroken grandchildren sat in the front row. Tear-stained legacies.
*******
Five dogs in her lifetime. She loved each of them so much, and cared for them like they were her children.
******
Six dishes full of Macaroni & Cheese, only a fragment of the food brought to feed the crowd.
*****
Seven times my pastor had to stop to gather himself so that he wouldn’t cry through the message.
****
Eight ushers to carry the coffin.
***
Nine fruits of the Spirit that she lived by.... "Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, Temperance.”
**
Ten. I would rather have gone through Ten stitches instead of going through this One funeral.
*
*
This is a piece at war with itself. The material is dark and solemn, but it's been given a facetious frame: lists and recipes are inevitably light. The reader can't take it seriously but can't avoid the seriousness in it. We have nothing to hold on to.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion: forget ingredients, forget a numbered list--but use the rest of the material either as very short vignettes separated by asterisks or simply as a prose poem. Incorporate numbers into the items currently without.
Then I think you'd have a corker of a piece.
Better?
ReplyDeleteBackwards.
DeleteUm, is backwards good or bad?
ReplyDeleteYou must have liked it backwards, and that's a fine answer. Want to see how it looks other way around?--my first reaction was that it should be other way 'round, but, hey, different courses, different horses....
ReplyDeleteOkay, I think I've settled on this version.
ReplyDeleteA piece to submit to the school's literary magazine?
ReplyDeleteThis is twice recently you've mentioned stitches. First time I thought you were playing off ' a stitch in time saves nine.' Now I think that the doctors where you live have never heard of local anesthetics....
The school has a literary magazine?
ReplyDeleteYeah, my experience with stitches wasn't very much fun.
It does, and you have all sorts of things that could be in it. I'll bring you a copy tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOkay, thanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing that copy, it was neat to read. Is there any chance you could make a list of possibilities for me to submit?
ReplyDeleteIt's your copy if you want it, and perhaps the next issue will have some of your things.
ReplyDeleteI'll make a list, sure--and let's start with this piece. Show me some of the grafs you did early in the semester too.
http://christinadaae.blogspot.com/2013/11/subtotals.html
ReplyDeletehttp://christinadaae.blogspot.com/2013/11/week-8-theme.html
http://christinadaae.blogspot.com/2013/11/prompt-35.html
http://christinadaae.blogspot.com/2013/11/prompt-33.html
http://christinadaae.blogspot.com/2013/11/naturedescriptive-essay.html
http://christinadaae.blogspot.com/2013/11/week-7-theme.html
http://christinadaae.blogspot.com/2013/10/prompt-34.html
http://christinadaae.blogspot.com/2013/09/theme-week-3.html