Dear Friend,
How did we come to this? I now understand why people say, "it just didn't work out between us." Sometimes the problems are so varied and confusing and sad that you can't do any better than a vague and cliche statement.
But I'll try to do better.
I wasn't hesitant to hand you my pieces. The others had all paired off and I was alone, you were a friend that I both wanted and needed. I marveled that I found a soulmate in you - our backgrounds were so different. Every time you gave me a glimpse into your past, I wanted to gather you, embrace you, and tell you that you were enough. You did the same for me.
And sure, you had flaws. I knew that from the start. Demonstrative, arrogant, foolish, selfish, needy, vain. But wasn't I all those things, too? If you listed anyone by only their faults (without the lens of love or understanding) then of course they would look like a monster.
We always said that we never would be those people - the ones that grow apart. But I guess everyone tells themselves that sort of thing. Why else would we stay in a relationship, unless we thought it would last?
But people make mistakes. People change, and now I cry when I read our old letters.
Somehow, our running conversation began developing holes. We stopped talking about important things. I became the third or fourth person you'd tell big news to.
And you made a mistake.
Sometimes I think this is just a lull, that we can't really be over. Not us. Not really. But some choices can't be taken back.
I don't know what I can offer you. I don't know if we'll be friends two years from now. I don't know why you chose her over me. I don't know if you knew what you were doing at the time.
I don't know much these days.
Your mother used to say that we were made for each other - that our souls were knit together like those two friends in the Bible. Maybe we weren't. Maybe I should have been killed in battle sooner so that I wouldn't have to outlive our friendship. Maybe I was convenient for you at the time, but your older friends are enough for you now.
We were quite something though, weren't we? I thought we were.
Sincerely,
Jonathan
