The sun still rises, and she's still here

How do you look at the love of your life and tell her, through her tears, this is where I leave you? How do you premeditate an earthquake, see the damage it will cause, and wreck it all anyways?

It's a great cliche, I can see that.  I didn't tell him that he meant a lot to me, not recently.  I didn't say thank you and now it's too late.  These are the types of things that people say in soap operas, worn little regrets that have been used so often, they no longer hold any meaning.

Until you go to what was his house and for a split second, wonder where he is.  What a stupid thing to think when you've gone there to bring flowers to his wife because he is irrevocably gone.  The mind does strange things to cope.

I am not enough for times like these.  I am less than what is needed, less than what is deserved.  I have been a peace-maker among my siblings, my friends - there's a puzzle piece in my soul that yearns to set things right.  I can't make this right.  In fact, I cannot even use these words that I've practiced, not in real life, not when it matters.  When face to face, all I can do is allow useless tears to roll down my cheeks.  Stupid, selfish, useless tears.