“You’re so sweet.”
That’s what he said, as if two months of knowing me made him an expert.
He’s wrong though. You see, sweet
girls do not smile when they hear the story of mice being incinerated after
they are caught. Sweet girls do not
revel in the fact that being pegged as “sweet” allows you to get away with
things that others cannot. Sweet girls
find it easy to forgive. Sweet is the term
they give to the girls that obey.
Listen, I may smell like a rose, but I come with thorns.
Sweet? No, I’m really not.
But it’s nice to know that I can fool you.
And do you know which 18 words you can cut to hit 91? I think it's pretty do-able without losing tone or edge--and it's fun to read you with an edge on.
ReplyDeleteThis could be a fine opening for a short story, though it also is a good stand-alone. As always, you really know how to usher the reader out the door. Whew!
I didn't think about this as an opening, but you're right - that would be a nice introduction to a character.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought of this as my 91 words either, but maybe if I cut something then it might work. Not really an autobiography though, is it?
Memoir as opposed to autobiography? I think it would have fit. Here is my 91-word version (I love to edit!):
ReplyDelete“You’re so sweet.”
…as if two months made him an expert on me.
He’s wrong. Sweet is the term for the girls that obey. Sweet girls find it easy to forgive. Sweet girls don’t revel in the fact that being pegged as “sweet” allows them to get away with things that others can’t. And sweet girls don’t smile when they hear of mice incinerated after they’re caught.
I may smell like a rose, but I come with thorns.
Sweet? Not really.
But it’s nice to know that I can fool you.