TWS

"Their confidence in me is my greatest fear."

An Observance

Love is a funny thing.  It’s so universal, yet so specific.  People write poetry and songs and whole books in attempts to explain it.  I cannot claim to be as wise as the poets and musicians and authors before me.  So this is simply an observance.  

You see, there’s a him in my life.  How him came to be in my life is subject for a different post.  Yes, explaining him should be saved for a different post, a handful of poems, a few whispered songs, and perhaps even a book.  But in order to understand my observance, you had to know about the him.

That aside, here’s my observance.  Before him, I wore pony tails all the time.  I wasn’t comfortable with my hair - it’s frizzy and can be very untamed.  So I wore a pony tail.  Why the constant pony tails?  Because a pony tail is reliable.  I can grab all of my hair in an elastic and put it behind me where I and other people can't see it.  It isn’t going to get in my eyes, and I don’t have to deal with the risk of having unruly, unsightly hair all of the time.  I didn’t wear pony tails every day, but whenever I didn’t I was uncomfortable and insecure.  

But since him, I’ve stopped worrying about finding elastics.  I’ve stopped my almost-daily routine of pulling my hair back.  I’ve literally let my hair down.  Not because him told me to, not because him likes long hair, nothing like that.  Simply because being with him makes me feel like it’s alright.

I don’t think love is the same thing as romance.  I think love might be about finding someone who you are comfortable with regardless of what you look like, or how tired you are, or what your day held.  Someone who, when you let your hair down around them, both of you are still alright with yourselves and each other.  I’m learning to let my hair down.

And I think I like it.

Your Name

Names are funny things, I think –

The importance we tack to them,

Of how they’re spelled and what

They mean: leader, servant, or gem

It shows how little we can read into

The lives of those around us

From the people that we barely know

To the people we feel have found us

But I love your name, I love its sound

Spoken by any voice at all

I love it for what it means to me

I love that it’s a voice I can call

You see

Your name means safety,

And a heart that’s true

And most of all,

Your name means you

How Deeply

Perhaps the reason it’s taken so long

For me to fall for you

Is because I know how deeply I can love

And I was afraid you were untrue

But now that I know that you don’t mind

A soul that is less than perfect

I feel a peace that’s new – I can unwind

I don’t think you will reject

Me, like all the rest